Feeling lazy, here's a poem.

I'm feeling a little drained after spending 5-6 hours on my day off staring at my laptop hoping that I'd somehow magically produce an essay. So, instead of writing a big post, I'm just going to leave a poem I wrote a few months back. I wrote this in a moment where I had this weird feeling that I couldn't really explain, so I wrote this to help me explain it to myself. Enjoy!

I'm not sure how to feel...

I think "Listless" is the word,
But that doesn't fit this feeling of guilt.

"Guilt" isn't right either.
I've done nothing wrong!

"Annoyance"? No. Too many
Variables. Nothing distinct.

"Melancholy"? Unlikely.
I'm hardly a Victorian.

It can't be "Despair".
That's far too dramatic.

I doubt it's "Depression"
That's far too extreme.

"Anxious" isn't correct.
I'm hardly a wreck.

"Sad" is too simple

"Miffed" is too childish.

"Sullen" is pubescent

I'M STILL UNDECIDED.

I guess, "Lost" is what I'm looking for...
My location is sound
But I'm mentally
"Adrift"

I'm no "Titanic".
My mind isn't a sinking ship.

I'd just like some "Peace"
From the fussing in my mind...

Do I belong here? Obligatory whiny teenage post.

So I've been in University now for little over three weeks, and now I'm wondering if I'm going to enjoy the rest of the year. Part of me thinks that this is just "Little Fish, Big Pond" Syndrome, but then another part of me wonders if I'm actually going to enjoy the type of Uni I'm in. I have not made that many friends yet, and I did not go out,much, in my freshers week for that reason. Not to mention the fact that it feels like the majority of the place I'm in seem to all know each other from college or secondary school.  I'm making some friends in my subject department but I'm still not 100% comfortable around them. It isn't that they aren't nice people, but I just feel awkward around them. This isn't a bad thing though, I don't mind being on my own (God that sounds creepy)

My subject isn't exactly easy either. Its a mix of history and medieval literature, which means I have to learn a lot of medieval languages. I was aware of what I'd have to do but I had no clue about the jump in difficulty from A-Level to a BA. The assignments I'm given are leaving me in a slight daze of confusion and apathy. Although I do realize that obviously things aren't going to click straight away and I've always been the person who picks things up pretty quickly, so being in this situation is an unfamiliar one.

Anyway! Its still early days yet so I'm not exactly going to drop out just because the work is hard. I like a challenge also I'll probably find people I like, somewhere...I always find someone on my wavelength who's a bit mad...

I just wanted to write this just because.

Thanks for reading,
Rhodri

Oh wow...uh...Hello, again!

So I started this blog in 2011 thinking I'd update it all the time. Well, you can see for yourself how well that worked...One post. Wow. Just, wow.
But I recently remembered that I started this blog and I think its about high time I got it up and running!

SO! I'm going to state facts about myself to get the ball rolling!
My name is Rhodri
I'm 19
I'm from Wales.
I speak Welsh. Fluently, not that "Rwyn Hoffi Coffi" crap.
I love tea.
I'm a nerdy/geeky type
I like creative writing, I seem to be OK at poetry.
My music taste is weird.
I'm good at being socially awkward.
I love books and reading
I can spend all day on YouTube.
In the past two(ish) years I've managed to get into University (Not going to say which one though)

That's an OK start I guess? I'm going to try and update this blog as often as I can because I think it'll be a good way for me to think about things and rant really. Ah well!


I hope this works out well.
Rhodri